Since we initiated this site on April Fool's Day, I've belaboered the point that laughter is the best medicine (ala "The Court Jester," Elaine Stritch's "There's No Business Like Show Business," A Shakespearean "Who's on First?" Barbra Streisand's "Cockeyed Optimist" and A Maxine Cartoon).

What about some Christmas Fair? I know Emily Ruth's favorite would be "Little Drummer Boy." For me, I'm harkening back to 1964 and the Mossbargers' days on Carb Drive. [The pic above is as close as you can get to the house. For some reason, Google Maps didn't go down the block.]

So it's 1964--45 years ago. We're watching the very first airing of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer." (Anybody else remember it was right after the GE College Bowl?!?!?!) Anyway, we get to moment 7:47 in the clip below and, while Santa pauses, my Dad says EXACTLY what Santa says in the next breathe!!!! Being only 6 (and forgetting that Santa says the exact same thing in the famous song), I was amazed at the magical powers my Dad had!!!


Be sure and AT LEAST watch 7:47 to the end. Feliz Navidad, ya'll!

PS ALLAN! when are ya gonna publish the Clem Kadiddlehopper post (which is, now, only a draft)???!!!???!!

Pleased with my progress, and no radiation!

Today we visited with Dr. Chow and yesterday we saw Dr, Fredric. Both are pleased with my progress. The good news is Dr. F thinks the route to go is hormone therapy and pills to keep the bones strong. Needless-to-say, I am delighted not to have radiation therapy in my future. This is being composed in the midst of chaos, since I will move to Judy’s and Leigh until probably til Wednesday or Thursday since the flooring is being replaced in my apartment starting tomorrow. This is being composed as Judy takes my apartment apart and prepares for my move. I will be away from my home phone so you can reach me through Judy or my cell phone. Also I won’t have my computer available until I’m back home. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers - you have made this all possible

Finally getting back to updating you. First small corrections: my left sde is the side that had the cancer and was the side that healed nicely. My right side was the side that had bleed and they had to go in the second night and stop the bleed. The drains were removed first from the left side. On the right side, one drain was removed and I went back to the hospital for some cleanup work on Saturday, Sept. 24th . It was done under a local and I went home that afternoon. The Thursday before, the Dr. told me she and Dr.F. had decided radiation would be needed due to the small amount of cancer found in one of the left lymph nodes. That with the news about the surgery on Saturday came on top of news earlier that day that my friend Merene was now in Hospice. My loving daughter plied me wih Dove candy that night which helped my attitude.
All went well and I even went to church the day after surgery(sadly to discoverMerlene had died that morning.)

Since then, I've been to the funeral Thursday and had the fiinal drain removed last Friday. The best news is I finally ws able to take a real shower Saturday. All in all, I tink I'm doing well and am ready to have final stitches removed on the 8th of October wen Dr. C. returns.

Agan,thank you all for yor prayers and good thoughts.

Radiation Therapy Links

Breast Cancer Center - MD Anderson Cancer Center

Radiation therapy - MayoClinic.com

Radiation Therapy and You - National Cancer Institute

External Beam Therapy

Part I: Understanding Radiation Therapy | Cancer.Net

Part II: Radiation Therapy—Your Personal Experience | Cancer.Net

Part III: Side Effects of Radiation Therapy | Cancer.Net

Frequently Asked Questions About Radiation Therapy | Cancer.Net

RT Answers - What Happens Before, During and After Treatment?

RT Answers - Radiation Therapy for Breast Cancer

Breast - Metaplastic Cancer | Cancer.Net

Breast Cancer - MD Anderson Cancer Center

Breast Cancer - MD Anderson Cancer Center

http://www2.mdanderson.org/app/pe/index.cfm?pageName=opendoc&docid=50

Types of Treatment - Radiation Therapy - MD Anderson Cancer Center

M. D. Anderson Flash Player

Maxine01

Report From the Surgeon from Judy via David

Well David and I took Mom to the surgeon today and got some good news and some that was not as good. The right side is healing very well and the drains on that side have been removed! There were some abnormalities in the tissue on that side but not cancer. The left side was not doing as well but that was not a surprise since there was a second surgery on that side. Those drains will have to stay another week as will the stitches.The pathology on one of the nodes on that side did come back positive with a very small amount of cancer.

So where do we go from here? Not sure yet. Dr. Chow the surgeon will consult with Dr. Frederic and they will come up with a plan. Mom will go back next Thursday evening to see Dr. Chow and have her stitches removed and probably the drains. I don’t know if she will tell us the plan at that time or if we will have to wait until the following Thursday morning (Sept 24th) when we will see Dr. Frederic. Mom is a bit disappointed but seems fine. Her health and spirits in general are quite good considering all she has been through.

Thanks for all the love and support all of you have given us through chemo and surgery. It has been wonderful to know that all of you are there for us.

Love to all,Judy

The Surgery and Recovery

Dear Friends and family,

Sorry it has taken me so long to update you on my surgery and recovery but being surrounded by loving family there was little time to sit down and concentrate.

Son Allan, Barbara, and daughter Mikha were here weekend before last. Mikha is beginning a Masters in Library Science and had to be in Denton Saturday for a class. It was wonderful to visit with them and here all about their doings. Barbara is working on a display for her library and has been asked to present her work at a state library meeting. Ben (their son) is back in Providence and is working on a project for physics. There were pictures on face book, but I was glad Allan was here to explain it all to me.

The next Saturday, Jill arrived and Judy and I picked her up at the airport and had lunch at Uncle Julio’s on the way Home.

Sunday, we went to church and the four of us and Judy’s two girls had lunch at P.F. Changs. By the time we finished John and Son William had arrived. I could go on about the wonderful times we had, but I’d better tell you about he surgery, etc.

We arrived at the hospital Tuesday morning at 5:30am. By 7:00 they took me to radiology where Dr. Chow met me and injected me with dye which would stain and help identify any cancer cells in the lymph nodes. She left for another surgery and the family (Judy & Jill) and Frs. Fred and Bill followed us to holding. They left for the waiting room and I was greeted by my friend Ruth who works there. After several interviews by surgery and anesthesia, Dr Chow reappeared and I was taken back to surgery.

All went well, and I was back in my room sooner than I thought.

All had gone well and a cursory look at the nodes showed no sign of cancer. The only glitch was that night, it was discovered I had a bleed on my right side . after two pints of blood, I returned the next night to surgery to check for any bleeds. All again went well and I went home the next afternoon in good shape with very little pain meds. And have been doing well ever since.

More latter

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Good news! We have a date for surgery. Tuesday, September 1st, I enter Baylor All Saints at 5:15 am. And if all goes well, surgery begins at 8:30 am.
It will be a five hour surgery so my family will have along wait, so come visit them in the surgery waiting room.
If all goes well, I’ll get out on Thursday and will be at home for the next 10 days, at least. Radiation will follow after that, if necessary. Will try to keep you posted.

Note from Judy Cariker about Jane's appointment

Wednesday, August 12, 2009 9:23 AM
Dear All,

Well for all of you waiting to hear the date for Mom's surgery.... You'll have to wait another week! We did meet with Dr Anita Chow this morning but we won't know the surgery date until next Monday or Tuesday and then it will likely be about 10 days after that. Mom will have a bilateral mastectomy with a sentinal lymph node biopsy and possible dissection. There will be a 2 day post-op stay at Baylor All Saints. That is about all that we know for now.

Mom's count seems to finally be coming back up but this last round of chemo was definitly the hardest.

Keep those prayers, cards, emails and phone calls coming!

Love to all, Judy

Tuesday, Augst 3, 2009

We have a date with the surgeon, Dr. Chew, one week from tomorrow at 7:00 am. In the meantime we’ll collect 3 years of mammograms from Insight and Solis and fill out paperwork.
Her name was mentioned to Jackie, our vitamin therapy nurse, and she was thrilled!
Her sister had used Dr. C. for her doctor and the good doctor sat down with all the tests and explained everything in them and what her steps would be. She gave plenty of time for questions. Best news of the day-will spread the news when the date is set.

Barbra's "Cockeyed Optimist"

I discovered that you can't use you-tubes as replies, so here's a new BLOG entry in reply.
With Mom's readiness to prepare the celebration, I wanted to be a participant in the joy. So here's to joyful forward-thinking! Here's to the wisdom of the divinely given human spirit--neither "green" nor "dopey"--just in touch with whippoorwills and bright canary yellow skies.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009


Yesterday I saw Dr F. He was most pleased with my progress. I’ll see him next Monday and we’ll be discussing my seeing a surgeon. He wants to get that done, so by the time I’ve finished the last three weeks of chemo, I can be ready to set the surgery date. Eill keep you informed.
I’m looking forward to finishing my chemo and getting on with the surgery. It would be wonderful if there was no further sign of cancer in my biopsy from the surgery. That would mean no radiation. Please pray for that! Radiation is much better than it was 20 years ago, but I’d still like to avoid it if possible.
Once this journey has finished, I plan to celebrate. Joachim and Silvia from Germany sent me a bottle of ice wine, now keeping cool in my fridge. Will invite you all
to celebrate with me when the time arrives.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Get ready to celebrate! One week from today is my final chemo. Then when I’ve recovered from that, it’s on to my surgery. Don’t have the details, but will probably have a better idea in three weeks to a month from now.
Yesterday I had to go in for one more shot to boost my white blood cells. I was possibly scheduled for today and tomorrow, but the blood work yesterday determined I didn’t need any more. Wish they would have discovered that before giving me yesterdays shot!
That afternoon and evening I was reminded of how achy you can feel. I resorted to Tylenol before bedtime so I slept well.
I think last week was my lowest spot as far as emotions went. I had felt well until I discovered I needed more shots this week to boost my white count. I’d felt so well, I was sure I didn’t need more, but a blood test proved otherwise. Isolation was beginning to get to me. Thank goodness my roomie from Kanuga called having just returned from her trip to Europe. She had had a marvelous trip and spiritual experience. For the last two years since her husband died, she had been unable to pray. In a church there she opened up and prayed for the first time. Her experience reminded me that we all go through dark periods and mine was so small compared to hers.
Many lessons still to be learned; so keep those thoughts and prayers coming my way = and thank you for your support.

Happy Fourth of July!

I’ve been busy doing nothing and thoroughly enjoying it! Deanna Smith from Trinity has shared her Mrs. Reed books and tapes with me along with some VHS programs of Miss Marple and some about Celtic saints. Have been enjoying all of them.
Monday I see my Dr., have vitamin therapy and get a massage before chemo the next morning. My sister is taking me to Chemo. It is always fun to see her!
With the hot weather, I’ve been staying inside so not as much pool exercise as usual.
Today, I’ve been trying out some recipes in a Cancer Cook book I discovered at the Dr.’s office: two chicken recipes and a banana pudding recipe. I thought I’d stored up things in the fridge and freezer for when I don’t feel like cooking.
Speaking a cooking, last Sunday some of my friends from Trinity brought lunch after church and a bag of goodies. The food was marvelous and the goodie bag such fun!
It’s great to have friends like this. Tomorrow I’ll go to church to thank them and to seen our new curate. Hope to see all of you soon. This next treatment and one more – and then surgery. And hopefully soon after that, I’ll be ready for my old routine!

Time for a little Shakespearean class on this BLOG

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Monday I saw Dr. F., my oncologist. He seemed very pleased with my progress. He has good instincts and prescribed 3 days of steroids, helping boost my energy level and my attitude. That afternoon, Judy and I went for my vitamin therapy. We missed having Merlene along, but hope she is enjoying Hawaii with her family. As usual, I learn something each step along the way. This time it was checking with my med changes with my internist.
Tuesday was Chemo day, and Sister Judy took me to and picked me up when I finally finished. It takes time to have your blood drawn, sent to the lab and then wait for the pharmacy to fix the Chemo bags. Fortunately, I had a book sister had loaned me about Southern belles and their manners and attitudes. While being humorous, it sheds good light on cultural differences here in the States. If we have problems understanding others, we need to look at their heritages and backgrounds.
This also gave me time to think about what I‘ll I do for my grandchildren this Christmas. I hope to write my on “Guidepost” stressing their roots and wings. I hope it sends them to assessing where they’ve been and where they might be heading.
Wednesday was another day of shot for me to warding off the drop in my white count. I’ll do this daily through Friday. Then errands: to my internist office to drop off a list of my present meds changes. He was not in, but had a good talk with his staff. He is from Iran, and had planned a trip, but cancelled because of the political situation. If he needs to see me, there is time next week. Next off to do a couple of errands – replacing wiper blades on my car and to the liquor store to find some wine for Leigh for Father’s Day. This is a good time to thank him for being such a good landlord. Still feeling fine, I was off to the church to drop off my UTO offering since they are collecting Sunday. I spent time visiting with Jackie. She had breast cancer twenty years ago, as a young mother- quite a struggle. I’m glad to have the benefit of those twenty years of learning --- and no little ones to care for. Jackie was blessed with good friends and church family for support; something we each need. Thank to you, my friends and family for your great support for me. It truly has been very good. Then I had a great talk with others in the church office – got a good people fix to carry me through my next isolation. All are welcome t visit The phone calls, emails and letters are a good boost, too.
One more thing, I forgot to mention; some of the women who work with Judy at the Women Club, her hospitality committee, sent me fresh fruit and kind notes with Judy, another act of kindness and support.

Over the Hump

Well, mom, today you are definitely over the treatment hump with the 4th of your 6 treatments. Hope all your angelic allies are working hard with you on a speedy recovery from that treatment. Was talking with a couple of friends online thru facebook today and the attached song came up. I think you like it?

Click below or the title:

Doris Day

Friday, June 12, 2009

Something about being an “invalid” tends to encourage laziness – or at least that’s what I’m fighting right now. I’ve books to read; papers to sort; and letters to write,and yet I take to my bed or just vegetate with computer games or a silly TV program. I need to get up and get going. True confessions; pray for an attitude adjustment for me.
There is good news. I passed my blood test Wednesday so I’m already for my Dr.’s return on Monday and my fourth chemo on Tuesday. I’ve decided this time I’m dressing St. Fiacre and his monks (they’re the ones I’ve visualized growing my white cells in the bone marrow) in those special suits they dress people in who are dealing with hazardous wastes. That way they’ll be protected from the chemo and can do a better job of protecting the white blood cells. Any other suggestions? I’ll do anything to avoid those shots they give me.
My vitamin therapy buddy, Merlene, is off to Hawaii for a week with her two sisters and her son Eric and his family. I’ll miss her when we go for vitamin therapy, but I’m glad she’s getting a nice trip.
With the stock market finally inching up, I’m thinking more and more about planning a trip to Scotland next year when I finish with my cancer treatment. My grandfather Robertson was born just outside of Aberdeen. The books I’ve read about Celtic spirituality has really whet my appetite. Iona is on my list of places to see. Anyway, it’s fun to dream and plan ahead.

June 5,2009

How to begin? Let’s just say, my halo certainly slipped a bit yesterday - the result of cabin fever. I can tell you there are a few negatives to attempting to be a “desert mother”.
You can read all about being a cancer patient, but being a human being, there are sometimes you can’t control everything.
The nicest thing is having the support of loving family and friends. Then there are wonderful unexpected surprises that sweep the dark clouds away – a beautiful vase of lovely flowers or a delightful package of unexpected goodies. Thank you, friends! And a laugh and a hug from a loving child who had anticipated the meltdown.
I’m still battling chemo brain and fighting against low white blood cell count, but happy to report it’s on the upswing.
Monday I received some interesting news from my vitamin doctor explaining some of the tests she did prior to beginning chemo. I was anemic, borderline low thyroid and some information regarding my estrogen levels. It was enlightening and making me really want to make some lifestyle changes. And I’ve tried edname beans; they’re not bad!
By the way, I don’t have my jar of pennies, but it is fun to find creative ways to bring a smile to the waiting room. It’s fun to find a way to make others smile. Which reminds me of a cartoon in my bag of goodies: it’s a funny little character who states,” I like to wake up every morning with a smile … sorry you missed it!” It was a perfect day for me to get that!
All in all, I have nothing to complain about. So many people in this world are suffering great tragedies personal, political, job losses, loss of homes. I thank God each day for his blessings. And good friends who care enough to see what’s going on in an old lady’s life to read her blog.

Two for Jane: A friend's nephew & a favorite musical

Ask Trinity's Terry Ramsey about her nephew Scott Geiger. He's the piper in the kilts who had a role in a production of one of Mom's favorite musicals...Brigadoon.

Wednesdy, May 27th,2009

Surprise! I slept in my own bed last night. I signed in as an observation patient about 9:30am and reported to the 7th floor at eleven thirty, the nurses with Dr. Fredric and said send me to outpatient Chemo. By a little after 4:00 pm, Jill picked me up and I was home. Today I go in for my first shot, at the dr.’s office and this afternoon Jill and I will pick up Merlene and I’ll get to Dr. Block’s for my vitamin therapy.
In between trips to the hospital for me, Jill has been busy at her machine. I now have a different topper for every day of the week and more. There are four cute sun hats from the Cariker of West Columbia, a black, broad brimmed hat from Abby and Talbots; a pink turban and wig and three turbans courtesy of Jill. Wow! I can really go out in public in style.
Thanks to the good nurses in outpatient infusion, I was out by 4:00. They labored over my machine which had a contrary filter or something. The machine keot stopping, but thanks to their persistence, it finally worked. I think Jessie, my nurse and the wife of s seminary student said a few prayers that helped. Sorry I didn’t get the name of the other nurse who practically stood on her head to unclog the filter. They both deserve much praise.
Later on Thursday or Friday Allan on Mikha will come relieve Jill. Thursday, the church people return from France, except Judy and Leigh, who’ll be travelling on to Germany to visit the Schmidts, Ursela’s parents. They’ll return next Tuesday.
Forgot to mention to all the Trinity folks, soon after I got home yesterday Bill and Elaine Krupp came by for a lovely visit. They send their love to all of you. I’m glad Bill was with Elaine, He’s lost over 100 lbs. following by-pass and insertion of a pace maker.
They had been in Plano getting ready to renew their Marriage Encounter ministry.
All is well at 2621 Waits Ave., thanks to your continuing prayers.

Thursday, May 21st/ Ascension Day

esday morning John took me to the lab first and then to the Dr. He seemed pleased with my progress. Rather than wait for lab results, the office said they’d report to me later in the day. Dr. F. has requested I go into the hospital as an observation patient next Tuesday morning for my 3rd chemo. Not out patient, but as a temporary (overnight) patient. I think he anticipates my white count to drop faster, and would like an excuse to keep me in and treat me. Tuesday is the 26th of May and he will be out of the office from June 4th thru the 10th. I’ll go prepared with books, busy work, toothbrush, etc. I think I said something in the beginning about becoming a “desert mother” and it looks like I’m getting the opportunity to make that prophecy happen.
After our visit to the Dr’s, we stopped by the Woman’s Club to say hello to sister Judy. Over coffee and skillet cake provided by Michael, the chef, we had a grand chat. Michael is the one who sent the bread pudding to the hospital with Judy, He’s quite the chef. Thank you, Michael!
Dinner time found the girls, Abby, Gwen and me at Pappado’s for dinner with John. On our way home, son Will called to say he and Vicke would be here today to relieve John as caretakers. I’ve enjoyed seeing John, but with three dogs and three females, I think he was ready for a break.
I’ll be glad to finish with my third chemo. Only three more chemos after that and surgery. There still looms the prospect of radiation, I can hope that won’t be necessary
Hope you have a good and safe Memorial Day Holiday.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Changing of the guards today. Debbie left for Odessa where her mother is having some minor surgery. John Mossbarger arrived from Houston and will be my major caretaker for the next few days. John is my former husband and father to our children. Since they had other commitments right now, he has graciously offered his help. He is cooking tonight, taking Abby, Gwen and me to dinner at the Olive Garden.
I’m really feeling well, but it gives the family a feeling of security to know someone else is in charge, just in case...
Yesterday was fun with the return of Gwen from the lake. She, Debbie and I had a pleasant afternoon catching up. When Abby returned from work, we all had a great dinner of roast chicken, baked potatoes, and asparagus. I had also made some stuffing for the bird with bread, onions, celery, and apple and had that with gravy. I passed on the potato and made a pig of myself with the dressing. We also had fresh watermelon – delicious.
Earlier Tracie had stopped by to introduce her newest “child” , a male mixed breed dog rescued from the Humane Society, he was happy to join her household with a ready-made harem of three females. The nicest thing was, Tracie hired our favorite cleaning lady to come clean some time when the house needs it and I’m not up to it.
People have inundated me with wonderful cards, thoughts, prayers and fun little gifts. My sister had sent me funny mystery books just right for reading with chemo brain.
I’ve begun collecting random acts of kindness to me and to others I’ve observed. If you keep your eyes open, there is a lot of love circulating in this old world. The 5:30 news on NBC has been featuring such things. Good news is really GOOD.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Tuesday, I had a Dr.’s appointment, with a lab before to check my blood levels. Again, my white cell count was down. Dr. Frederic gave me the option of going home and checking my temp hourly or going to the hospital. I choose the latter since Judy and Leigh were leaving Thursday for England and I didn’t want to put a kink in their plans. So I spent the next three days on the 7th floor of All Saints being treated like a queen. IK learned even more about white cells and cancer. Although each person is different, I may be facing more of this isolation with the next four chemos.
The only drawback to this is keeping busy in my room. Fortunately, I have a years worth of reading to catch up on.
Many thanks to all who were there for me; Jacque Cage took me to the Dr.’s and stayed with me until I was admitted (blessings on her!); all the nurses who were such angels; in fact, all the staff – even the nutrition department who had to deal with a healthy, but cranky patient.
All the people who found their way to my room were real bright spots who helped break the monotony.
Each trip along this journey is full of learning opportunities. One really nice surprise was on a walk to the snack machine. There was a couple who were just finishing loading it and it turned out to be the same people I’d met while working the 2nd floor waiting room of the Andrews building. Instead of spending my money they gave me a pack of Skittles to help keep my mouth from drying out = what nice people! And dear sister Judy brought me yummy bread pudding from the Women’s Club =and then Friday was my ride home. Also she brought another funny book to entertain me about true Southern Belles.
Dear Debbie arrived Friday in time for pizza and some of my favorite TV shows.
And finally, it was nice to sleep in my own bed. Thanks for more prayers – they really brighten my day.
One more thing, I was happy to spy they are working on the volunteer garden. It was difficult to tell exactly how it looked from the 7th floor, but I’m delighted to see it progressing.

elaine stritch at point park university

and now for something completely different...........

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

First, a correction on yesterday’s blog: Judy and Leigh leave Thursday, May 14Th for England, France and Germany. Debbie will be with me then and other family members will follow,
Yesterday my sister Judy was my chauffeur to my chemo appointment at All Saints 7th floor outpatient, well run by two excellent and kind nurses and a tech. It is a very busy place but well run.
Before going up, I stopped by Starbucks for a smoothie. I found a replacement for my travel cup, It now has family pictures around the cup, including my family, my Kanuga class and a picture of the presiding bishop to symbolize my church family. So I carry my prayers with me.
Since there was plenty of quiet waiting time, I was able to finish a book I’ve been reading – a Matthew Fox book titled Creativity. The last chapters were especially so, talking about the lack of creative expression for children in our schools and universities. I wish every teacher, professor and administrator would read and consider,
Today I tried to behave, but Merlene and I did go to vitamin therapy this afternoon. Other than that, I read, wrote letters and did some sedentary straightening of drawers.
We’ll see what tomorrow brings when the steroids wear off. I have a feeling it will be nap time and easy books to read or TV to watch. My chemo brain will be at low tide.

Tuesday, My 5,2009

Today I had my second chemo at All Saints. All went well and I'm pleased to announc my white count is high normal. The lesson I learned last time was not to overwork my body, so I'm trying to behave.
Judy and Leigh leave Friday for England, France and Germany. And Debbie(David' wife) is coming to "babysit" me. I'll have real life nurse in charge! With her expertice and my previous experience we'll do fine.
Now to all you wonderful people who have sent cards and notes and goodie treasures, my grateful thanks for your thouhtfulness. It puts me to shame to remember when a friend was dealing with some problem and I didn't respond. Thank y0u for another lesson on how to love; you've been takng lesson from God.

May 3,2009

My last post was a week late due to technical difficulties. I was not meant for the computer age. Thanks to my dear son Allan and my son-in- law, Leigh, I'm now back in business.
Ths week on Wednesday I'll have my second round of chemo as an outpatient at All Saints. I can guarantee you I will be puttng my visualiztion sklls to work. Angels and saints help me to make the most of my treatments. I 'll need to search for a saint to put in charge of my brain. Chemo has strange effets on that organ, too. The nice thing is God is in charge, so I can count on Him.
For those of you who know, I've spent the last two years studying to be a spiritual director or as I prefer, an Anam Cara which is Celtic for soul friend. Altough I could not attend the final intensive at the Haden Instite, I was delighted to find they had awarded me a certificate and placque. I really feel honored.
On to the next step. Pease keep those prayers and good thoughts coming.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Yesterday and the day before were the best days yet! Friday my son Will and his son Jack, arrived from Rosesharon for a visit. Saturday they were big help with some projects around the house. That morning Father Fred brought me communion. We had a wonderful talk which gave me much to ponder.
Judy and Leigh cooked a grand feast and the meal was capped by a cake made for me by Will. It was a recipe Mimi, a good friend, had shared with him. It’s a family favorite at their home. I was glad I felt well and could truly enjoy their visit.
Last night was a restless night for sleep, however. I finally realized there was something God wanted me to think about. A remark I made to Fr. Fred about somber waiting rooms haunted me. By this time it was one in the morning so I read the daily office. Three good Psalms, and then a passage from Daniel. It concerned a dream Nebbacanezer had that Daniel was to interpret for him. Somehow it didn’t register. I guess I was tired; finished the Daily office and went back to bed. Then I dreamed my own dream. I awoke in a cabin similar to those friends and where I have stayed in Flat Rock. Outside was a baby. Judy and I called 911; they ignored our concerns. Finally, I recalled that you could take a baby into a hospital or fire department. Sadly, we felt the baby had been abandoned because she was not developing the way she should have for her size and age. She had been loved, judging from the way she had been cared for and was beautifully dressed. Yet there was failure to thrive. How could a woman with breast cancer and her family care for this child?
We took her to the nearest hospital to turn her in. There we were asked to fill in some information about her, and as we left, we passed her in the same bassinet with another baby, also abandoned… and beyond them three more babies, all abandoned. How sad! The dream ended. What did it mean? I’ve come to the conclusion the meaning for me had to do with those silent, somber faces I had discussed with Fr. Fred I had seen in the waiting rooms.
I cannot change these folks in one short waiting room stay, but I can do something. All children like bright shiny pennies – at least those raised in the depression. I will have a large jar of bright, shiny copper pennies with me as I wait. Pulling it out, I’ll announce to those waiting, “A penny for your thoughts, but only positive thoughts get the pennies!”
What is your good thought of the day? Share it with me on my blog. You might earn a bright, shiny new penny!

April 21,2009

Dear Friends and Family’
Sorry I’ve been so long getting back to you. Chalk it up to a busy social calendar!
Actually, my white count was down Tuesday when I saw the Dr. When he saw me he was very pleased with my progress, and I’ve been pleased myself. When I was pregnant, many years ago, I reacted the same way – wanted to sleep all the time. It’s rather like hibernating.
I’ve been with Merlene for vitamin therapy twice, Monday and Wednesday afternoons. The two of us have such a good time doing such silly things as to see whose IV therapy finishes first. By the way, Merlene’s birthday is Friday, so send her happy birthday wishes on the 24th.
Now I must go to the Dr. again for another shot, and then to see Kelly about my wig... Bye, bye for now!

April 17,2009

Well, the great adventures of chemo! Yesterday, my first full day home,was delightful.Full of pep and energy, I cleaned all sorts of things, strolled around the pool and in the process got too much sun. not a burn, but from now on it's sunscreen, long sleeves and pants and a big straw hat.
Today is another day, and I've paid the price with a sore rear and other not so pleasant symtoms. But some imodium has saved the day and it's clear liquids for a while.
My spiritual journey has been slighlt interrupt by a detour thru the physical world. But good news tonight from Dr. Fredric's office: my bone marrow biopsy was clear!
The hospital stay was fine and got plenty of info and help. I'm grateful that part is over. More another day.

April 14, 2009

This seems to be my lucky day for hospitals! Only this time I won’t be bringing home two darling daughters! But the positive is this is a journey to free me from that masculine invention of the 30’s – the bra.
For anyone concerned about my flippant attitude, thinking I don’t recognize the seriousness of the situation. Please put your mind at ease. Having spent at least 10 years on an oncology floor, I’m well aware of the journey ahead. No, not the journey, but I’ve seen others travel this steep and rocky road so I know there are many thorny and twisted side roads that may occur. I choose to have faith that I’m as prepared as one can be. I know I walk with the One who best knows my pathway and I have faith in His/Her skills as a navigator and guide.
So if I look for the humor or see for the beauty along the way, that’s my choice. Peace for each of us – and for the many others beginning a similar journey today.
And “Happy Birthday to my darling twin daughters”. These two, along with their brothers, are my strong pillars, who are upholding me along with the many prayers from each of you.

Holy Saturday

April 11, 2009
Sorry I haven’t up dated this since the 8th. I met with Dr. Tan on Thursday to prepare for my port to be put in next Tuesday. Being Holy Week and Easter Weekend that was as soon as it could happen. But the good news is, I’ll be able to spend Easter Sunday with my church family. They have been so supportive in thoughts, prayers, cards, etc.
I’ll spend the night at Baylor All Saints and have my first chemo before leaving the hospital. This will give me the opportunity to become familiar with All Saints 7th floor Oncology Unit and staff.
It has been good to visit with Jill and John. Jill spent her Spring Break here sewing PJ’s and embroidering sheets for my room. And John arrived Thursday > He took Jill and I to dinner Thursday and the whole Cariker family, Jill, and me to Macaroni Grill Friday. We celebrated Judy and Jill’s up coming birthdays. I later mentioned to Judy that my gift to her was to give her a day off from teaching to spend at All Saints for my surgery.
Being Holy Saturday, I’m getting ready to go to confession this afternoon. Confession is good for the soul, they say! I cam across a poem I had begun months ago so I’ll share it with you and my new ending:

Practically Perfect


Why am I so irritated by those imperfect people?
And I am practically perfect in every way!
Why do I have to put up with people who don’t know anything?
When I am practically perfect in everything I do!
God knows I’m perfect!
Why I raised perfect children, didn’t I?
(4/11/09 Holy Saturday)
Oh Lord, I’m glad we can laugh together!
I’m learning, Lord, I’m learning
Little do I know about perfection?
Perhaps when I learn,
It will be when I truly love you.

April 8, 2009

I saw the doctor yesterday. The bone scan, pet scan and other tests were clear. The next step is to put in an access line for chem.. I have an appointment on Thursday morning
To see the doctor who will take care of than. Then I’ll be an observation patient for the next 24 hours and will have chemo the next morning, This will be the first of 6 chemo treatments occurring every 21 days. Then there will be a second round of another drug with the same sequence, 6 treatments 21 days apart. I’ll finish with radiation and surgery. So I may be playing “desert mother” for the next year. At least I’ll catch up on all the books I haven’t read and the movies I want to see via Netflix. After that I’ll be a whole new woman! (Or something like that!)
Keep the prayers and good thoughts coming. They really help.

April 3, 2009

First of all, many, many thanks to my granddaughter Mikha for putting this blog together as I begin this leg of my journey. And many thanks to all those who have lifted me high as if carried on angels’ wings with their prayers, cards, phone calls, etc.
Now about my travels: Mammograms, needle biopsies, visit to an oncologist, tests and more tests. Right now I’m on hold, waiting for my doctor to get the results and plan the next step of my travels. From what he has said it will begin with having an access put in for chemo and then receiving two kinds of chemo before surgery. That, in a nut shell, is all I know presently.
But I’m not wasting time. I’m researching vitamin therapy (Merlene, my friend, has done well with this), nutrition, exercise--- not to mention meditation, relaxation techniques, laughter therapy. Next I’m checking into
massage and then wigs, etc. A fiend of sister Judy’s, Midge Seaver, gave me many good tips the other day.
As I think back on my spiritual journey, I realize how God has prepared me for much of this. As a patient rep at memorial Southwest in Houston, I worked on the oncology floor and was a facilitator for a cancer support group. Those patients and families taught me much about dealing with cancer and caring for yourself on this journey.
Hope I’ve not bored you. Will blog again when there is more to tell.

I hope this is a good sign for the Journey

I hope we all realize that the jesters of the Mossbarger family are christening this BLOG on April Fools' Day. I'm looking forward to a lot of laughs along the way.
You might want to begin the youtube provided at 0:55.

Hi, Mom!

Mikha did a great job, eh?